A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his
faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund
starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers
that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in
his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The
dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!"
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately
settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims
loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if
there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as
a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
"Whew, " says the leopard. "That was close. That
dachshund nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from
a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and
trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great
speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon
catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal
for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that
Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on
his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"
But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when
they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, "Where's
that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another
God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to Him.
"God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured
out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we
can now do what you did in the beginning."
"Oh, is that so? Tell Me..." replies God.
"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt
and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it,
thus creating man."
"Well, that's very interesting...show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the
soil into the shape of a man.
"No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own
Subject: STATEMENT FROM FRENCH'S MUSTARD
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement:
"We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements
that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship,
nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and
the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in
Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are